Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Saga of the Toilet Paper

I walked into the bathroom this morning to get ready for the day.  As I took in my surroundings, I noted that there was no towel on the towel rack and no toilet paper on the roll.  So, I left the bathroom to fetch those two items.  As I left the bathroom, I observed the mop and mop bucket perched in the corner where I had left them the night before when I mopped the bathroom floor.  I grabbed the mop and mop bucket on my way out of the bathroom with the intention of emptying the bucket and returning both items to the broom closet where they belonged.  As I walked out of the bathroom, I almost tripped over my shoes that were still in the middle of the floor where I had kicked them off before getting into bed.  I put down the mop and bucket, picked up my shoes and placed them in the closet.  Since I was standing in the closet, I picked out the clothes that I planned on wearing today.  I took the clothes out of the closet and started to lay them on the bed when I figured I might as well make the bed first, so I put the clothes on my dresser and began making my bed.  While I was in the middle of making my bed, the phone rang.  It was my neighbor, Carol from down the street who wanted to know if she could come over to make some copies.  I told her that would be fine.  
I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee for when Carol arrived to make her copies.  As I was standing in the kitchen, I noticed the package of toilet paper that was still on the kitchen counter (I had unpacked the groceries but forgot to put the toilet paper in the bathrooms).  Seeing the toilet paper reminded me that I needed to put a roll of toilet paper in my bathroom.  I grabbed the toilet paper and headed for the bathroom when there was a knock on the front door.  I put the toilet paper on the rocking chair and opened the door for my neighbor, Carol.  We went into the kitchen first to make coffee and then headed into the office to make copies.  On the way to the office, I noticed the toilet paper sitting on the rocking chair and picked it up with the intention of putting one roll in the bathroom by the office.  We went into the office and I placed the toilet paper on the shelf while I showed Carol how to make copies.  We sat and drank our coffee while the copies were being made.  When the copies were done, we went back into the kitchen where I noticed the folded bath towels on the kitchen table.  The towels reminded me that I still hadn’t taken a shower.  I said goodbye to Carol and headed back to the bathroom to take my shower.  When I arrived in the bathroom, I noticed there was no towel on the towel rack and no toilet paper on the roll.  So, I turned back around and headed to the office for the toilet paper and the kitchen for the bath towel.  On my way, I noticed that the mop bucket was sitting in the middle of my bedroom, my bed was still unmade and my clothes had fallen off the dresser and lay in a heap on the floor.  To make matters even worse, my dog had peed right next to my clothes because I hadn’t gotten around to walking him due to the fact that my neighbor had come over to make copies.  Good thing the mop bucket was right there!  After mopping up the pee, I headed in search of the toilet paper because it occured to me that I needed to pee as well.  I found it sitting on the shelf in the computer room.  I started laughing when I realized how the toilet paper got there and that made me have to pee more.  I ran into the bathroom by the computer room and, while I was sitting on the throne, it occured to me that this would make a really funny story.  So, when I left the bathroom, I came into the computer room, placed the package of toilet paper on the shelf and ...