I need some clarification. In this politically correct climate, I can no longer say him; instead, I must say "shim." Ze, hir, and hirs are all atwitter in this land of hither and thither. I'm unsure, but I think she and he are no longer. Instead, I should say they or maybe you. Can I say you, or is it ewe? It can't be ewe since that would be a female sheep.
I tried to figure out what was happening in our upside-down world. I found this simple explanation: sexuality (whom you go to bed with) and gender (who you go to bed as) are now flexible.
Anyway, in light of the new gender-neutral grammar rules, I have written a children's story to explain this confusing new way of looking at the world and the people in it. I didn't use people, though. I used sheep to stick with the ewe theme.
Shim and Hir
Once upon a time, a ewe didn't know she was a she.
So, their friend, who was a ram, said, "Ewe, you can call yourself 'shim' since you don't know if you are she or him." "Shim would make you neither or neither (however you want to say it)."
"Why, that's a great idea!" Said the ewe who didn't know she was a she.
Not long after the ewe became Shim, they and the ram talked for a long time about why the ram had to be a him. So, the ram finally decided not to identify as him and to call theirself "hir."
Over time, Shim and Hir developed a close friendship. Shim and Hir played sheep games every day. Then, one day, ze became upset with each other when Shim wanted to play "baby ewe," and Hir wanted to play "horn bashing."
Shim got mad at Hir and said, "I'm not playing horn bashing with you because I don't have horns!"
Hir retorted, "You are really acting like a ewe!"
When Hir called Shim a ewe, it made Shim so mad that they decided to be friends with Hir no longer. It came to pass that ze went their separate ways to find new friends with whom ze could identify.
The End.
