Monday, December 16, 2013

NoNo for Nana

Yesterday, I had the privilege of watching my sixteen-month-old granddaughter, Devyn.  We had such great fun!  The park was beautiful and there were slides of all shapes and sizes just waiting for the pitter-patter of Devyn’s feet!  The pitter-patter of Devyn’s feet was followed close behind by the clump-de-clump of Nana’s feet.  Up and down.  Up and down.  Up and down we went.  Nana kept getting stuck in the slide making Devyn laugh her head off.  By the time we got home, Devyn and I were exhausted.  Well, maybe I should rephrase that - I was exhausted and, luckily, it was Devyn’s nap time.  So, we tucked each other in and slept for four hours! 

I woke up with sore knees and an aching back. 

“My God!” I thought to myself, “I’m this out of sorts from a short trip to the park!” 

I guess it is time I accept the inevitable truth that I am no spring chicken any more.  I mean it’s really bad when you take longer naps than your granddaughter and your bedtime is earlier than hers.  There are so many things that are daily reminders of my waning youth.  Like, for instance, the other day my hairdresser trimmed my eyebrows after she plucked them!

I was looking at family pictures we took at the park and I noticed that whenever I smiled my eyes disappeared.  How sad is that!  Speaking of eyes, I was wondering why my husband was sneaking up on me and getting really close to my face when I was lying on the couch. 

“What are you doing!” I screamed in his rapidly approaching face.  (I knew he wasn’t getting romantic after all). 

“I was trying to see if you were awake.” He yelled as he jumped back from the couch and almost fell over the coffee table.  “I couldn’t tell if your eyes were open.” 

Another true sign of aging is when NoNo (the “no more hair in unwanted places” gadget for chin hair) is at the top of your Christmas list. 

Speaking of Christmas, I was whispering to Bill the other night about our thirteen-year-old’s present I ordered online when she yelled from her bedroom, “I heard that!” 

“How could she hear me?”  I whispered to Bill. 

“I heard that too, mom! You and dad are both deaf!” Came her snarky reply. 

Deaf!  What is she crazy!  I can’t help it if all she and her sisters do is mumble all the time.  Mumble this and mumble that - I went to the wrong friend’s house to pick her up the other day because she mumbled the name into the phone.  How embarrassing was that to show up at JJ’s house to pick up your daughter who was at Cricket’s house!  I mean, come on, JJ and Cricket sound almost exactly the same when you mumble the names!

I have a confession to make.  I started texting more and talking less because all my friend’s have lousy phones that make them sound like they are in tunnels or under water.  Unfortunately, I can’t read their replies because I broke my reading glasses when they fell out of my pocket while Devyn and I were stuck in the slide.

There are so many things about growing old that I could continue to mention like never sneeze or laugh after consuming even a tablespoon of liquid.  However, there is a bright side to aging...damn, I forgot what it is!